Plus, a heads up: I may soon start using this site as a bit of a travel log, as I'll soon be off to Austraila and New Zealand to see the sights and inquire what the current state of dingo-infant relations is.
Every year around this time, as Emmy season comes and goes, I'm asked the same question: would I do a hat-driven award for headwear on TV? Well, the answer has been, and will continue to be, "No". And also, "why are you looking at me that way?".
However, this year I thought I'd throw a proverbial bone to you, the reader, and share what I consider to be the most hat-centric hour of tv I've ever witnessed. It's a standard Batman two-part episode arc, as the caped crusader fights a lesser known, hat-themed villain. To pique your interest, here's a picture of Batman using his Anti-mesmerizing Bat-reflector to deflect a beam from the Super Instant Mesmerizer, with disastrous consequences for Robin.
For now, full episodes are available on YouTube:
The Thirteenth Hat (Part 123) Batman Stands Pat (Part 123)
If you know of anything more hat-centric, you know where to find me.
Move over Jitterbug, I have a new favorite senior-targeted commercial
unfortunately I couldn't find the version I actually saw, where the old lady starts off very sad because she missed her bingo opportunity (bingoppurtunity?) I'm sure you can imagine her devastation, though.
As hard as it may be to believe, I don't have a particular axe to grind with Microsoft, but once again I've found one of their ads to be stupid enough to drive me into a rare posting:
That's right, Google caused our economy to fail. Youtube is the reason your father lost his job. Picasa is why your kids are fat. But a rebranded MSN search will make it all better.
The general consensus (among myself) was that this year was particularly poor for hats in film, and the Hattys almost didn't happen. Luckily, I changed my mind, and after a bit of research, a clear winner emerged out of nowhere. But first, let's talk about this year's remarkably poor field. A sampler of the best picture nominees yields the following:
Frost/Nixon: very few hats. In fact, I was wondering if Nixon ever wore a hat in his life - which quickly led to this definitive answer, thanks to google image search:
Note the "Don't think I'm not going to remember this humiliation" look in his eye
Milk: very few hats. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Being a period piece, probably has its fair share of hats, but gets seriously downgraded because I hate F. Scott Fitzgerald. Listen, Scott, if that IS your real name (which it isn't), I don't care what what the rich losers in West Egg or East Egg or Pigeon Egg or Pigeon Forge are wasting their lives doing. American kids hate American Literature because they're taught you're the best we have to offer. Faulkner is spinning in his grave. And where do you think you're going, Mr. Dickens? You're responsible for this too. Do you know how many times in my life I've wanted to read a book about street urchins? Zero. Jane Austen could write circles around you with one hand tied behind her back. And she just got even better. But I digress. In any case, Benjamin Button is not going to win.
The Reader: Very few hats.
Slumdog Millionaire: Very few hats
You see what I'm up against. In the end, I only found a couple "conventional" movies that were even worth of consideration: The Changeling, because Angelina Jolie seems to be wearing jockey hat through the entire thing, and Doubt, because nuns are pure gold when it comes to headware. But still, I wasn't very happy with the field, so I did a bit of out-of-the-hatbox thinking, and found the gem known as Presto in the overlooked short-film genre. Shockingly enough, I had actually seen it (unlike everything else I review) because it was attached to Wall-E in theaters. And let me say, the film represents just about everything the Hattys stand for. If anything, it might be a bit too perfect; Pixar clearly put this out just to win the award - but I'm a big enough man to allow shameless pandering in my direction. In any case, a hat (or two hats, precisely) is absolutely central to the film's very existence. No hat, no film - it's that simple. So congratulations, Presto, the most hat-centric movie of 2008.
