Saturday, September 27, 2008

I saw this quote recently and had to share:

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future. - Niels Bohr

Doing picks, especially at a point when every team you care about has lost their last game, is a tough task. And because I'm running unopposed, there aren't any obligations to fill. So I'm going to take a pass this week. If anything in the sporting world goes right by this time next week, I'll be back in business, so I'll see you soon, hopefully.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

It appears my competition has silently bowed out this year, without so much as a goodbye, perhaps in tacit admission my of my insurmountable and permanent superiority in picking football games. Unfortunately, the football gods, no doubt angered at this turn of events, struck down the quarterback of his favorite team, in a fully-justified retaliatory action.

I'll continue making picks this year but it's possible I might miss a week here or there with no one else running in the race. My enthusiasm for doing these is directly related to how the Packers are doing, and they're doing well right now, so let's get down to business.

KC at ATL: GIDCAOTW right off the bat. ATL.

OAK at BUF: Even before last week, it should have been clear that Buffalo, not the Jets, are the Patriots' real competition in the AFC East. BUF.

TB at CHI: I cannot believe that the Bears are an over-.500 team, and this is the kind of game under-.500 teams should lose. TB.

CAR at MIN: Yes, the Vikings need this game much much more than Carolina, but what have they done in the first two to make anyone, let alone someone with extreme anti-Vikings prejudice, pick them? CAR.

MIA at NE: And the Patriots' cruise through their minor-league-grade schedule continues. NE.

CIN at NYG: BITL: Raw Sienna (approaching critical) NYG.

HOU at TEN: I can't believe I'm doing this, considering what happened the last time the Texans tried to play football a few weeks back, but I have nothing to lose this year. Upset Special. HOU.

ARI at WAS: Washington is the worst team in the NFC east. Arizona may actually be the best team in the NFC west. That means Arizona will win, right? ....Right? ARI.

NO at DEN: Oooh, lets all fawn over Mike Shanahan a little bit more - we have no dignity left anyway. Right, ESPN? DEN.

DET at SF: Has J.T. O'Sullivan suddenly become competent? Doubtful. But he'll put up competent numbers against the hopeless Lions. SF.

STL at SEA: Late breaking news: The Seahawks have re-signed Brian Blades and Mike Pritchard. SEA.

CLE at BAL: This game will be worse than boring, it'll be boring-and-a-half. BAL.

JAC at IND: Who would have looked at this matchup a few weeks ago and said, "this is the only way one of these teams get a win this week"? JAC.

PIT at PHI: Possible super-bowl matchup? Pit-possibly. Phi-impossibly. PIT.

DAL at GB: I have the same feeling about this game as the week 1 vikings game, so we'll see how it goes... GB.

NYJ at SD: This is gonna get ugly. SD.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

CHI at CAR: If Matt Forte has another good game, he's well on the path to being this year's Adrian Peterson - and of course, I'm not speaking in terms of talent, just hype. CHI.

TEN at CIN: The obvious joke here is that Vince Young is reaching a craziness level that would make him a perfect fit on the Bengals - so I'll use it. BITL: Lemon Yellow (medium but rising) TEN.

GB at DET: The Packers are really dinged up right now, but c'mon... GB.

BUF at JAC: I mentioned last week I had a bad feeling about the Jags this year, and it was confirmed big-time. Suddenly this looks like a 6-win team. Upset Special. BUF.

OAK at KC: I wish you could have seen my facial reaction when I saw this matchup. Imagine biting into a pickled lemon. KC.

IND at MIN: Minnesota will probably win here, because Indy's defense has reverted to their pre-2006 playoffs form, but it's going to take more than a likely victory for me to actually predict the Vikings will win. IND.

NYG at STL: Ok, so the Giants may not be toast this year. But imagining more than 10 wins is pretty hard too. About as hard as imagining more than 3 wins for the Rams. Tim Tebow lottery, here we come! NYG.

NO at WAS: For all the positive vibes coming out of New Orleans last week, the one that made me happiest was the strong fantasy performance of Reggie Bush, who I had instantly regretted drafting the prior week. NO.

SF at SEA: I hate you, NFC west, for wasting my time 17 weeks a year. SEA.

ATL at TB: No, Atlanta, you won't be winning much this year, but I hope you enjoyed last week. TB.


SD at DEN: Let's see what Denver does against a real team before making any judgments, ok? SD.

NE at NYJ: With the Patriots' surrounding cast, even say, Jeff George, should be able to put up 15-20 TDs (albeit with 30-35 interceptions). NE.

PIT at CLE: Speaking of the Patriots, the Steelers better be paying attention, because they just got the opportunity of a lifetime. PIT.

PHI at DAL: Good Samaritan Tony Romo will save some lady's baby off a nearby set of railroad tracks during halftime. DAL.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Well, it's time to fire up the ol' football-pickin' machine again, and it's nice to see that this season already has plenty to talk about. I'm speaking, of course, about this year's version of spygate, duffelgate. Please see this google screenshot as proof I coined the term. Last year we had to wait until after week one to start talking about the season's big issue, this year we got a one-week head start. Hooray!

WAS at NYG: I can't stay mad at the Giants for beating the Pack at Lambeau last year, because I'm convinced the Pats would have mopped the floor with GB in the super bowl, and I would take a Pats championship game loss over a Packers champion ship game loss (to the Pats) any day.

DET at ATL: Almost went upset special but I couldn't pick a team where I actually have no idea who the coach is. DET.

CIN at BAL: This year I'll provide a homeland-security-style Bengals Implosion Threat Level (BITL) for each of their games. We start out at BITL: Salmon (moderately low). BAL.

SEA at BUF: Wild, crazy, prediction: Seattle will finish about 10-6 and exit in the second round of the playoffs. Also, Matt Hasselbeck will continue to act like he's not a balding, annoying, pipsqueak. SEA.

NYJ at MIA: Aw, noodle-armed Chad Pennington doesn't have a starting job at the moment. What Jet shall I then make fun of? I'll make my decision after this week. NYJ.

KC at NE: The Pats will be worse than last year, and so will the Chiefs. NE.

TB at NO: Somebody has to win the NFC south, and it might as well be the Saints again. NO.

STL at PHI: Does anyone outside of Philly still consider the Eagles a super bowl contender? Because everyone inside Philly does, for some reason. PHI.

HOU at PIT: Seems like a decent candidate for GIDCAOTW. PIT.

JAC at TEN: The Jags look like a team on the upswing, but I'm starting to get a 2006 Bengals vibe from them. TEN.

DAL at CLE: One thing I don't understand is why everyone thinks the cowboys will be even better than they were last year. But then again, I'm not a blowhard ex-jock with an extensive concussion history and freedom to speak whatever wanders across my wasteland of a mind on national TV. Upset Special. CLE.

CAR at SD: Phil Rivers is quickly becoming the quarterback who most annoys me, but I have to admit, if the Chargers didn't lose their QB and RB at the most inopportune time possible last year, they probably are super bowl champions right now. SD.

ARI at SF: J.T. O'Sullivan. ARI.

CHI at IND: Wow, two teams that have similar personnel to what they had a couple years ago in the superbowl, ...and yet, the Colts are expecting to be a top team in the AFC once again, while the Bears have to be realistically aiming for about 6 wins. IND.

MIN at GB: I have no idea what will happen to the Packers this year, and I have a bad feeling about this one (despite the horrific over-ration of the Vikings, this year's stupid national media darling). GB.

DEN at OAK: Do not let people who were born before the Spanish-American war run a team in 2008 - is that clear by now??? DEN.