Sunday, April 25, 2004

A couple quick google updates:

Mount Athos, doing its best Boyz II Men impression, is still solidly holding down the #1 slot for monkey fashion show material after all these weeks

Plus, Mount Athos is now the internet's one and only souce for The Incomparable Jon Nunnally

Monday, April 19, 2004

I'm not one to talk about personal grooming. I passionately detest having to shave every day for work, and am pretty sure I've never cared about how my hair looks in my entire life. However, there are certain things that even I can't take. For example, Johnny Damon of the Red Sox. And yes, the correct term for Johnny Damon is "thing". See, when I think of Johnny Damon, I remeber the fresh-faced, clean cut kid who came up the Royals in the early 90's.

just a normal guy

Along with Michael Tucker and the incomparable Jon Nunnally, Damon was the centerpiece of what was supposed to turn into one of the best young outfields in the league. After a more or less decent start to his career, the middle-aged Damon, like all good players, eventually moved to a deep-pocketed team, in this case the Sox. Then things got weird. Johnny started growing his hair out. As you can see in this delightfully violent picture

Taking a beating from little Damian Jackson will hurt your pride, too

And then, just a few days ago, I happened to catch a little bit of one of the Boston's first games of the season, and Johnny looked like he had just stumbled out of the food pantry.

Peace be with you

Now, this picture does not do justice to the current Damon, who's look has since gone from "Jesus" to "Caveman", but it will give you an idea of what I'm talking about. If you have young childen, please use that V-Chip of yours to block out Boston games, even when Pedro Martinez isn't wrestling old men. And if you actually plan on going to a game, try throwing a nice new Norelco out on center field, he might catch your drift.

Monday, April 12, 2004

It's official, the Atkins diet has now replaced reality TV as the premier social plague in the U.S. In both cases, we can trace the problems back to exactly two factors:

1) Advertising executives banking on the stupidity of the average american.
2) The general public, who seem more than willing to make those executives' predictions correct.

In other words, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Reality TV shows continue to pop up because people continue to watch them. And don't give me the line that you watch them "as a joke" - I can recommend dozens of movies and a good number of childen's shows that are much funnier than what you'd ever see on a reality show. Ha ha, she's eating eyeballs! Yeah! If that's not enough, during the commercial break of those shows, we continue to be exposed to more and more atkins products. Of course, this only happens because people continue buying things like the Hardee's Low Carb Breakfast Bowl*, which contains over 100% of the RDA for saturated fat, not to mention being, quite honestly, the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. If you feel good about yourself. or feel good in any way whatsoever, after eating a bucket full of eggs, sausage and cheese, then you probably should talk to someone. Maybe one of those advertising executives.

*This is a real product, in case you're wondering. Just go to the Hardees' site and check out the nutritional info.

Monday, April 05, 2004

"Viscosity is so cool"

-Me, giving strong evidence I'm a dork while taking Lisa out to dinner for her birthday. The impetus was Vinegar & Oil on a plate.