If you're looking for a good reason to lose faith in humanity, I'd like to annouce that Sk8er Boi will soon be a major motion picture.

Sorry about the lack of recent posts - I'm preoccupied with the slow, tedious process of moving five years worth of accumulated junk out of St. Louis and on to parts unknown (a.k.a. Wisconsin). I have pretty good backlog of stuff to talk about, but fortunately, I've forgotten most of it, so I can continue on as I normally would.

But to get something out of the way today, I saw the Matrix recently and I wouldn't feel right without posting some kind of review, even though you must be living in a cave if you haven't seen it by now. Anyway, the general theme/tone of the movie proceeds as follows:

... The Matrix ... Star Wars (the new ones) ... Porno ... Star Wars ... The Matrix ...

Luckily, that last "The Matrix" segment encompasses probably over half the movie, and if you wade through the slow and occassionally uncomfortable opening, it will reward you. Within that final segment, the much-hyped highway chase scene is, well, deserving of the hype, in fact the only problem is that you feel like the movie should end soon after it completes, but it doesn't. In addition, the dialogue is much cleaner in the sequel, for better or for worse - It's almost completely devoid of horrible lines.

The writers, clearly encouraged by the reception of the first movie, decided to add far more existential mumbo-jumbo this time around. I'm not really qualified to discuss the validity of the arguments the movie makes - however, I will say that these arguements appear to have solid grounding, but probably would work a lot better written on paper than spoken onscreen. If the writers did have something intelligent to say, the script and/or actors didn't deliver it correctly, because most of the long speeches in the movie (and there were quite a few) lost me sooner or later. And I'd like to think that my mental capacities are at least at the average theater-goer level. On the other hand, if the desired effect was just to confuse the audience and make them think something profound was being said (and I sometimes got that impression), then the mission was accomplished.

Remember, these are the same people who put the phrases "Techno-Slammin' Visuals" and "Mega-kick action" on the back of the original Matrix DVD. Don't give them too much credit.

You may now officially address me as Lucas Fox, Master of Science.*

I was hooded this past Sunday and now, cape in tow, I'm ready to go about controlling the weather, creating new life forms, smashing galaxies together, that sort of thing. I wasn't sure that my powers had arrived at first, but I'm now quite confident that all is well. You see, within an hour or so of recieving the diploma, I started feeling really sick (probably not SARS, so don't pull out that mask just yet), and sure enough, came down with something that basically put me out of commission for the entire weekend. Although this may not seem to be a positive omen, I'm convinced otherwise. When you think about it, most of my fellow superhumans (such as spiderman, the teenage mutant ninja turtles**, and so on) went through what can only be described as a difficult transition period immediately after acquiring their superpowers. Thus, I treat my sudden and unforseen illness as something of this nature; a consequence of my body not immediately adjusting to the newfound and immesurable power it had recieved.

I'm starting to feel better now, so it turns out my first act as a Master of Science was the miraculous expulsion of disease from my own body. Not bad for a beginner.

*Or Grand Vizier Sir Lord Baron Von Foxington XI of NewSouthHamptonWellingtonShire, I still go by that one as well
** As a side note, TMNT is coming to a next-gen gaming console near you soon - cowabunga!

I must have been dreaming ...

because I swear I saw a Radio Shack commercial the other day featuring two celebrities WHO ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED - Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams. That's right, no Terri & Howie, Vanessa & Ving, or A-Rod & Daisy Fuentes power couples. Could this be the end of one of the weirdest advertising campaigns of the last decade? Can I finally end my quest to inform the public of the needless deception in all those ads? We can always hope.

Thanks to Ron today for putting the capstone* on my academic career with a delicious lunch at Cunnetto's. As usual, the appetizers flowed freely, and I encoutered some of the best fried eggplant this side of the Mississippi. In my opinion, the best kind of vegetable is one that is deep fried to the point where you're oblivious to the fact that it was ever a vegetable, and this eggplant was so far removed from vegetation that it might as well have been beef jerky that they stuck in the deep fryer - in other words, it was just perfect. They also have great pasta dishes and salads, but I image a dip in the restaurant's deep fryer wouldn't have hurt these either..

*In your face, commencement

Today I finished my final exam ..... ever. I was expecting some type of amazing wave of relief and joy after it was all over, but it hasn't happened yet. By the time evening rolled around, I was at a complete loss for what to do. My body has so settled into the rhythm of sleeping late, afternoon classes/work, and homework in the evening that large periods of uninterruped free time are almost disconcerting. This is the first time in my entire life (or what I remember of it), where there's no "next thing due". So here I am typing away on my keyboard, not to share anything interesting (I hope you've figured that much out by this point), but simply because I don't have anything better to do.

Or mabey it just hasn't sunk in yet.....

Why did Amazon recommend this to me?

I mean, sure, I bought the complete collector's edition Barney box set, and all that Teletubbies merchandise, but that's still no excuse....

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